DENVER — Wine visionary Joe Tedesco unveiled his latest batch of Orwellian comments that make people sound sophisticated while sipping wine.
“My new 2009 guide of wine commentary will help anyone sound like a pretentious prick,” Joe proudly announced at a press conference today.
“Use these sayings whenever you want to sound like you know what you’re talking about, without really saying anything of substance.”
Here are Joe’s favorite empty phrases, based on his years of experience in the wine industry, his voracious reading of every issue of Wine Spectator, and studying past press conferences of former U.S. Secretary of Defense Robert McNamara:
- “Hmm. I’m getting petroleum on the nose with notes of diesel. Probably unleaded.”
“Woof, that’s a fat cab. Certainly Jenny Craig caliber.”
“Oh man, get a whiff of that napalm.”
“I’m getting acres and acres of earthy loam.”
“This has potential to be grippy, but it needs a few more hours of CPR.”
“Hmm, I’m getting a real fruity zing of strawberries, bananas, coconut … oh crap, this is a pina colada.”
“You can make up your own sayings and post them on the Tedesco Times,” Joe suggested to his loyal fans. “Maybe you’ll be creative as me! But I doubt it.”
This entry was posted on Saturday, January 10th, 2009 at 11:34 am and is filed under Joe. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.
The petroleum one must be a Texas wine!
I sense a subtle note of despartion with a hint of shame and a promise despair- Garrett age 16
Ha ha
I forgot one:
“This cab is really chewy.”
“Woof.”
An assuming wine with a hint of, I’d say, a Robert Graves novel and lacking in Barney Fife.