DENVER — A coalition of Tedesco guys called for drastic changes in the rules of golf to make it resemble the virtual reality of Tiger Woods Golf on the XBox gaming system.

“Honestly, real golf could learn some things from Tiger Woods golf,” Paul Tedesco told reporters at a press conference outside Stoney Creek Golf Course near Denver, where Tedesco guys have lost an estimated $230 worth of golf balls in the past five years.

“For one thing, in Tiger Woods golf, I can drive the ball straight as an arrow, 350 yards every time, while sitting in the comfort of my own home.” Paul said. “I so rock at fake golf it’s not even funny.

“In real life, I usually shank the ball, and then I get thistles in my socks when I spend a half hour in the weeds looking for it,” Paul said with disgust. “I can’t even hit the white button and spin the ball while it’s in the air. What’s up with that?”

Tedesco guys are boycotting the PGA of America until it radically changes the rules that make real golf suck so bad.