Bizarre sightings of giant dragon, scary witch reported in Colorado

John Tedesco, editor in chief — Sun, 02 Nov 2008 19:45:55 +0000

Authorities say these bizarre creatures spotted at the home of Mike and Caitlin Tedesco are ‘almost assuredly’ peaceful

PUEBLO, Colo. — The Department of Homeland Security was on high alert today after nervous residents reported strange creatures roaming their neighborhoods on Halloween night.

Agency spokesman Donald Hinkledore assured the public that a giant dragon and spooky witch spotted in Colorado were “almost assuredly” peaceful.

“So far, no one has been harmed by these cute little monsters,” Hinkledore announced at a press conference. “As a precaution, we have elevated our national risk level from ‘Periwinkle’ to ‘Taupe.’ You know what to do with that information, America.”

Hinkledore said citizens should “duck and cover” if they see a witch cast a spell at them. He also denied a report in today’s edition of the New York Times that the North American Air Defense Command at Cheyenne Mountain had spotted a hungry dragon attacking bags of defenseless candy.

“The fact that we launched a squadron of F-16 interceptors from Buckley Air Force Base was merely a coincidence,” Hinkledore said as he laughed nervously and dabbed his forehead with a handkerchief. “All is well.

“But if you happen to be outside, I suggest you make a bold fashion statement today and wear a full-body flame-retardant suit, just in case.”

UPDATE — Halloween pics of Makenna, Lili, Gigi and Cole:

The Tedesco Times » Halloween

Bizarre sightings of giant dragon, scary witch reported in Colorado