Baby breaks world record for cuteness

DENVER -- A new baby shattered all records of cuteness and adorablility after being born to Paul and Georgia.

Doctors were quick to credit Georgia.

"It looks like this kid is going to turn out great, despite the father's genetic contribution," said Dr. Dan Martinez, who declared the baby perfect.

Liliana Ramirez Tedesco resembles Paul in some respects. Father and daughter excel at eating constantly, burping, and lying around the house all day.

According to a scientifically-objective cuteness scale designed by obstetricians, the baby was one of only a few children in the United States who has ever achieved a perfect score for adorability.

Past perfect babies include Maddy Tedesco, born in 1999, and her uncle John Tedesco, born in 1973. Naturally, the two are best friends and hope Liliana will join their club.