SAN ANTONIO — Authorities are investigating allegations that Tedesco girlfriend Jennifer Hiller questioned the sheer awesomeness of a new movie starring Italian actors Al Pacino and Robert De Niro by asking: “Who cares?”
Hiller, 28, is suspected of making the hurtful comment in front of her boyfriend, John Tedesco, 25, who is recovering from his emotional injuries at Santa Rosa Hospital.
“From what we can gather, Mr. Tedesco was at the home of Ms. Hiller watching TV when the crime occurred,” Detective Robert Martin told reporters at a press conference today.
“A trailer for the movie ‘Righteous Kill‘ starring Al Pacino and Robert De Niro came on,” Martin said. “Mr. Tedesco immediately recognized how totally kick ass this movie will be, considering it is the only film since ‘Heat’ that stars both Pacino and De Niro. In accordance with all local and federal statutes, Mr. Tedesco notified his girlfriend of the movie’s historic importance and mind-blowing awesomeness.”
According to a recording of a 911 call released today at a press conference, Hiller replied with hurtful questions, asking what the big deal was and why anyone should care.
“Obviously, Mr. Tedesco was shattered,” Martin said. “Poor guy.”
Authorities say Hiller has a long track record of disparaging kick-ass movies.
On May 29, 2008, Hiller was investigated for rolling her eyes and saying, “Do we have to watch this every time?” after Tedesco was channel surfing and discovered “Goodfellas.” No charges were filed against Hiller.
Hiller was also accused of failing to dutifully watch each episode of “The Godfather” and its equally kick-ass sequel, “The Godfather II,” which are on TV on almost a weekly basis. The findings of that investigation are pending.
“Clearly, there’s a pattern of criminal behavior here,” Martin said.
Hiller’s attorney told reporters that if this is the only thing Tedesco can complain about, then Hiller must be a pretty good catch.