Report: Paul likes his awesome grill a little too much

Paul and his awesome grillDENVER, Colo. — A consumer watchdog group unveiled a report today that revealed a troubling pattern of obsessive grilling by barbecue aficionado Paul Tedesco.

“Ever since Paul bought his gas-powered Kirkland Signature grill from Costco, he has completely abandoned the kitchen and now cooks all meals outside on the deck, like he’s freakin’ Steven Raichlen or something,” said Clifford Jenson, chief researcher with Consumer Reports.

Contacted by the Tedesco Times, Paul admitted he loves his gas grill for its ease of use and tons of “super cool knobs.” But he denied allegations that his grill addiction has forced the Tedesco family to live on a strict diet of burgers, sausages, and steaks.

“Dude, my family is a bunch of carnivores,” Paul said as he flipped a porterhouse and looked lovingly at his shiny silver grill. “I need this baby just to keep up with their sick ravenous appetites.”

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