DEL NORTE, Colorado — Officials announced today that a Tedesco guy lost another epic battle of Blongo Ball against undisputed champion Rich “The Iceman” Haswell, who has dominated games of leisure against hapless Tedesco guys for years.
Played with bolas that are tossed onto a plastic ladder to score points, the normally casual game of Blongo Ball quickly escalated into a grueling match of wits and skill between Rich and area Tedesco guy John Tedesco, 32, who was visiting the Blongo king while on vacation.
“Wow, John came close to almost beating Rich the Merciless,” said neighbor Charlie Foley, who noted that Rich had been practicing Blongo Ball for months leading up to Tedesco’s visit. “That’s the way Rich rolls with Tedesco guys. Give them a dash of hope and then crush their dreams. Happens every time.”
Onlookers said John had thrown his last set of bolas with pinpoint precision and hit the game-winning goal of 21 points. But in typical clutch fashion, Rich nailed the one shot he needed to tie the game.
From that point on, witnesses said a visibly shaken Tedesco crumpled under the pressure and missed all his shots. Tedesco then questioned whether Rich was following the rules.
“Poor guy got on his cell phone to look up the rules of Blongo Ball,” Foley said. “Turned out that Rich was right, of course. You come at the king, you best not miss.”
Officials said it was the closest a Tedesco guy had come to beating Rich since the epic Tedesco guy pool game victory of 2008.