In a bombshell report, a DNA test that shows the genetic heritage of Tedesco kids reveals that some of their ancestors were from Greece and the Balkans — a surprising discovery that must surely mean the family is related to Balki Bartokomous, the beloved young goat herder featured in the 1980s ABC television show, “Perfect Strangers.”
“Cousin, I am so happy I must do the Dance of Joy,” Paul Tedesco told reporters at a hastily called press conference where the family proudly announced their newfound heritage.
“Would anyone like a big batch of my Bing Bong Binki Binki Bakalava?” Mike Tedesco added.The stunning revelation came after Grandma Jan bought a DNA test from MyHeritage.com as an early Christmas present for area supermodel John Tedesco, 28. The test results confirmed the widely known, totally awesome fact that the Tedescos are mostly Italian and Irish. But the test also found traces of Northern European, North African, Jewish, Middle Eastern, Grecian and Balkan DNA.
About 8 percent of Tedesco DNA comes from the Balkans and 4 percent comes from Greece, which no one had known before.
Upon learning the full story of their heritage, Tedesco kids who grew up watching “Perfect Strangers,” which they believe was a documentary that aired on ABC from 1986 to 1993 about the adventures of a lovable immigrant from the Greek island Mypos, immediately concluded they must be related to Balki and were soon heard speaking in thick accents.
“Cousin, some people say ‘Perfect Strangers’ is not actually true,” said Joe Tedesco, who was dressed in adult-sized Spider-Man pajamas he now wears when he sleeps in a fold-out bed in the Chicago apartment he began renting with a small, nervous, curly-haired man named Larry. “All I can say to those people is, don’t be ree-deec-ulus.”
Kristin told reporters that all Tedesco kids know in their hearts that “Perfect Strangers” was a true story. Addressing anyone who thinks otherwise, she said: “I hope you fall on your face with your hands in your pockets.”
John Tedesco was last seen aboard a cruise ship, staring in wonder at the Statue of Liberty while someone nearby sang a heart-warming song about standing tall and living your dreams.