Perfect Strangers

DNA test conclusively proves Tedesco family related to Balki from ‘Perfect Strangers’

In a bombshell report, a DNA test that shows the genetic heritage of Tedesco kids reveals that some of their ancestors were from Greece and the Balkans — a surprising discovery that must surely mean the family is related to Balki Bartokomous, the beloved young goat herder featured in the 1980s ABC television show, “Perfect…

Jennifer and Baby Pete

Population of Tedesco family skyrocketing

SAN ANTONIO — The proliferation of Tedesco munchkins continued this week with the birth of baby Pete Tedesco, alarming federal officials who say cute Tedescos are spreading unchecked across the United States. “We have totally lost count of how many cute, cunning Tedesco babies are roaming around out there,” said Derek Martin, a statistician with…

Jennifer at Joe's crab shack

Crab injured at Joe’s Crab Shack

SAN ANTONIO — Customers at a crowded restaurant were stunned today after a man and woman brandished tiny forks and assaulted a defenseless crab. Police are searching for the suspects, Jennifer Hiller, 31, and John Tedesco, 29. The pair fled the scene with bits of crab shell and garlic butter on their hands, and they…