Pete and Sophie on Halloween

Halloween superhero costumes replace entire wardrobe

SAN ANTONIO — Local law enforcement officials unveiled plans today for Tedesco munchkins Pete and Sophie Tedesco to wear their totally kickass superhero Halloween costumes every single day for the rest of their lives. Police said the strategy will drastically reduce crime rates in Gotham City. Plus, the supercool Batman and Wonder Woman costumes are…

Tedesco pillow fort

Security flaws discovered in Tedesco pillow fort

SAN ANTONIO — A ramshackle fort made of pillows, blankets and couch cushions in the home of Pete and Sophie Tedesco violated numerous security protocols and even looked as if children had built it, dumbfounded military officials announced today. “Wow. Where to begin?” visibly flabbergasted Randall Yates of the U.S. Army Corps of Engineers told…

Jennifer and Baby Pete

Population of Tedesco family skyrocketing

SAN ANTONIO — The proliferation of Tedesco munchkins continued this week with the birth of baby Pete Tedesco, alarming federal officials who say cute Tedescos are spreading unchecked across the United States. “We have totally lost count of how many cute, cunning Tedesco babies are roaming around out there,” said Derek Martin, a statistician with…